AL #44: Exhaustion

My playbook for transcending and interpreting exhaustion.

I'm writing this at 11pm on a Saturday.

For 3 out of the 4 last nights I've had only 3.5 hours of sleep.

Yet I'm not here to brag about hustle culture or the importance of “pushing through”.

In fact, I have a very complicated history with exhaustion.

From an all night sleepover in the country side catching all variations of Unowns in Pokemon Gold.

To procastinating on high school and university homework before I learned how to plan and realized education does not motivate me (learning does immensely though).

From suffering through 20 hour management consulting workdays or staying up all night singing karaoke with people I just met.

To now dealing with a newborn's sleep regression while trying to scale a bootstrapped business.

Here are 5 lessons I've learned along the way.

The “hard work” question is so sensitive and divisive that I'm not aiming to prescribe anything.

These are just personal notes that help me reason and contend with difficult times.

Such as this week.

1. No credit for working long hours

People think that the easiest way to get a promotion is to show that they are working.

(I guess this is how it works in traditional Japanese companies.)

While it’s true that being seen to work long hours as a high performer is helpful, the converse is not true.

A low-performer cannot obfuscate their performance with long hours.

I learned this in my second management consulting project.

A colleague and I worked 20 hour days doing something that the Firm now recognizes requires a much bigger team of specialists to tackle.

I even got the flu and was working while my head was dropping in front of the computer.

Turned out the manager still didn't think we did enough (he wasn't technical so didn't understand why things we were doing would be that difficult).

Myself and my colleague got an average rating on that project despite the effort.

But we both got a friend for life.

(He also introduced me to Ray Dalio's Principles which at the time were in PDF form, which informed my management style later on. Despite the project’s tough aspects, there were many good parts.)

After one more project working long hours and receiving a disappointing performance I vowed not to let my work be compromised by manager imposed hours again.

I ended up working 8/9am to 7pm for the rest of my management consulting tenure (this is considered great hours).

Nobody knew.

In fact some project leads thought I was working until 3am.

2. The market doesn't give a damn about your plate

At the same time, a lot of people feel entitled to work a certain capped number of hours.

The reality is that the viability of your output is determined by market competition and your output in relation to that.

The market is cold & ruthless and doesn't care about your hours.

The market is full of people putting in the hours to put you out of business (depending on what you are working on).

The ability not to put in long hours is earned through prioritization and performance.

I realize this is a very capitalistic view and things work very differently in socialist regimes.

If you are a lower performer, you can compete for the job of someone that is more talented or experienced by working harder.

This is a good thing.

3. Seek balance at all cost

Despite the above and despite the fact that you do need to work harder if your performance does not “beat the market”, you should still seek balance at all cost.

Your hours are a marginally diminishing resource.

After many, many management consulting projects, I've observed a pretty clear pattern.

With 8 hours of sleep, I'm creative, inspired, happy and pleasant to work with.

I'm able to forge and nourish connections and feel more lucky.

With 6 hours of sleep, performance is similar but feels more robotic. I may become more efficient in an attempt to get more work done but this comes at the expense of creativity and relationships.

At 4 hours of sleep things degrade beyond recognition.

With 2-3 days of low sleep I get irritable and my normally pretty stable self may fall prey to unnecessary negativity.

My speed & latency significantly degrades requiring even more time to catch up to peak performance output.

With a week of working like this I could start to burn out and catch a cold or flu. My body is significantly more vulnerable and likely is enduring permanent damage.

If you share some of these observations, it’s only natural to plan how to orient your life in a way that maximizes the chance that you will get the sleep you need.

I never willingly go into this state.

And I hadn’t been in this state for many years now.

But you can't be picky about your sleep schedule with a newborn…

4. Chocolate + Hydration + Warmth + Power Naps + Purpose

There's probably a more scientific version of this in a Huberman Lab episode but these are some of the things I’ve done in the past to help pull all nighters when you have to.

I focus on continuous hydration which increases alertness without affecting your ability to fall asleep later on.

I use chocolate or other energy carrying nutrition to maintain blood sugar levels and motivation. Tea is nice too.

As the night gets colder, I usually get cold due to lack of metabolic activity and may require a blanket, scarf or hoodie.

I will take a small power nap if I start crashing before hitting the second wave (second wave usually happens around 3-5am for me at which point I feel more awake until the morning).

I would set an alarm for 20 minutes, wake up and keep going.

Finally, it’s important to know why you are doing this.

Staying up all night playing video games with friends is an effortless act.

Staying up all night to do homework or work requires a different level of energy.

Knowing why may help you unlock it.

5. Don't be a manager that willingly impacts people's health

Perhaps the most important lesson I got from working with managers whose working style imposed long hours as an emergent phenomenon (for example a Partner who loved to have a one hour dinner at 9pm with us and then dropping more work for the evening).

I learned that I would never want my working style to repeatedly harm the health of another human being.

Depending on industry, late nights can always happen.

SaaS products have on call rotas.

Consulting projects have last minute fires.

Funds have deals.

But there is a certain cadre of person that never lets off and organizes other people’s schedule around theirs.

Or worse, argues that hustle culture is essential to succeed at their company (inputs over outputs).

Don't be that person.

I may be a little short on sleep this week.

But at least I'm only working with people who want to support my balance as much as I want to support theirs.

So I know that this too shall pass.

It’s 4 past midnight now and I'm ready to clock out.